At 4:06pm this afternoon, the Surrey Cricket twitter account posted what was I’m guessing was a scheduled tweet that said:

Happy Birthday to South East Stars and England opener Sophia Dunkley 🥳 Have a great day 🎉🎂

Reader, I have to tell you now that she did not have a great day.

She wasn’t the only one to be fair – she wasn’t responsible for England losing this match; but given the fine margins – Australia winning by just 3 runs – it’s hard not to look back on an innings of 13 off 30 balls and think: “If only…”

Whilst Dunkley was at the crease, Tammy Beaumont at the other end scored 47 off 39. It was a fifty opening partnership that was a partnership in name only, and meant that England didn’t get off to the big start that had allowed them to pre-empt Australia’s big finish in the way they had in winning the 1st ODI at Bristol.

Australia nearly didn’t do enough themselves – their innings suffering a little bit of a dip in the middle, like a bad sponge on Bake Off. They started at a good pace; but having lost a couple of early wickets, it was left to Ellyse Perry and Beth Mooney to rebuild, which they did by plodding along at little more than 4 runs-an-over. England fielded with admirable commitment, diving around aggressively like little spaniels; but there were more dropped catches, and again the fine margins came into play.

Perry top-scored with 91, but despite how close she came to the big 1-0-0 it somehow didn’t feel like a “match-winning” innings. That was left to Georgia Wareham, whose 37 off 14 balls turned the par score Australia were headed for into a decent one – one that England couldn’t quite overhaul.

In the process, Wareham handed Lauren Bell back a record she had briefly held last summer against India, until Freya Kemp eclipsed it in the same match – the most expensive bowling figures for England in ODIs – 3-85 – 26 of them in that fateful final over. Bell didn’t do a lot wrong, to be fair – Wareham was in the mood to nail anyone, going one better (well… technically… 18 better) than her 19 off 11 balls at the Oval in the T20 last week.

In reply, England were actually ahead of Australia for much of the middle-overs, as Nat Sciver-Brunt built towards another ODI century in vain – she is now the only woman to have scored a century in a losing cause 3 times – all against Australia.

But there was always the nagging feeling that England’s tail-enders, handy as they are on their days, weren’t going to have the firepower to match Australia’s up-tick at the end. Perhaps one of the issues is that England were punished by their own camaraderie – they believe in each other. Hence Nat Sciver-Brunt had a little bit too much faith in Sarah Glenn, taking singles early in a couple of overs which left Glenn playing out dots which cost England in the end, as their death phase proved their death.

So England’s Ashes dream is over. Thanks to the format being loaded in favour of the holders, effectively giving the holders a one-point lead coming into the series because of something their predecessors achieved 18 months ago, Australia “retain” the Ashes, even if England win the final ODI on Tuesday.

There is of course a distinction between “retain” and “win” for the cricket geeks, but let’s be honest – in the wider narrative, there is no such subtlety. England set out to “win” the Ashes, and they didn’t achieve that. Squaring the points on Tuesday, and winning both white-ball series in the process, will be an achievement, but there won’t be any chapters written about it in the history books.

As for Australia, they are back where… if we are honest… we all know in our heart of hearts they belong – on top of the world. It has been almost 10 years since they last lost 4 matches in a row, in a run spanning the 2013 and 2013-14 Ashes. One day someone will knock them over a 4th time; but it wasn’t to be England today. Congratulations Australia – enjoy the plaudits – you deserve them.