England got out of jail free, passed ‘Go’, and collected 2 ICC Championship points, in the 1st ODI against New Zealand in Wellington.

The win leapfrogs England over New Zealand and Pakistan, from 5th place into 3rd in the ICC Championship, though the table does have to be read with some caution right now, with New Zealand having played 3 more games than England, and Pakistan 6 more.

Chasing a sub-par 207, England had collapsed to 79-6 at the end of the 17th over when Wyatt, who had already hinted that she couldn’t pick Amelia Kerr’s wrong’un, confirmed the fact as Kerr ghosted one through her defences. To be fair to Wyatt, she’s not the first and she won’t be the last. In fact, I remember one Amy Jones once admitting in a press huddle after a game that she couldn’t pick Kerr, before rather sheepishly adding “Perhaps I shouldn’t have said that?”

And who was at the other end from Wyatt today? The last recognised “proper” batter in England’s lineup? Ah… hello Ms Jones – fancy seeing you here!

England had carded Sophie Ecclestone to come in next, but they tweaked the batting order slightly and Charlie Dean walked out to the middle. With 129 runs still required, it felt like an impossible ask, but 25 overs later Dean hit the winning runs, with Jones 92* at the other end, and England celebrated the unlikeliest of victories.

Sending in Dean was a masterstroke, because she is so unflappable – a trait she has inherited from her father, who had a long minor-counties batting career and someone once described to me as “The best batter never to have played professional cricket”. The great Australian bowler Merv Hughes allegedly once summed-up Dean Sr. even more succinctly, after a tour match against a minor counties XI, exclaiming simply: “Who is this c***?” And whilst I’m sure that kind of language would never pass the lips of any of today’s White Ferns, they could be forgiven similar sentiments after Dean finished 42* off 70 balls.

Dean really was the key, despite scoring half the runs Jones did, because her indefatigability seemed to rub off on Jones, who is prone to the odd rush of blood to the head, especially in high-pressure situations, of which today was among the highest. Between the two of them, they suddenly made batting look easy, and towards the end it felt like they could have chased at least another 30 with ease, as they passed the winning post with a country mile to spare.

New Zealand’s bowlers will probably be held culpable for letting the win slip through their hands, but the truth for me is more that the White Ferns’ bowlers almost pulled off a heist after the batting department had really let them down.

The Milwaukee tells the story – New Zealand hit just 30 runs in the powerplay, putting them behind the game from the off. And it could have been even worse – the Kiwis were extraordinarily lucky not to lose any wickets early on, as Kate Cross made Bernadine Bezuidenhout in particular look totally clueless. Alex Hartley kept mentioning on comms that Cross hadn’t played any white-ball cricket for six months, having sat on the bench at WPL – almost like Hartley was getting the excuses in early for her old mate; but she didn’t need to: Cross delivered the full pizza, conceding just 10 runs from 5 overs in the powerplay, with 24 dots from 30 balls in that phase.

Bezuidenhout and Suzie Bates were able to up the run rate a bit during the 10 overs that followed the powerplay, and having (somehow!) kept wickets in hand, more by luck than anything else, New Zealand were in a position to start throwing the bat a little bit in the second half of their innings. Unfortunately for them however, they decided to throw the bat a little too much and wickets tumbled, leaving them all out for 207.

A typical score in women’s ODIs between the championship sides since the start of 2021 is 247, so this felt somewhat light.

It was a good day for England’s bowlers no doubt, but the TV commentators, distracted by Cross’s early numbers (which were remarkable) did make a tad too much of The Dot Thing. England’s bowling dot percentage in this game was 58%. Their overall percentage in ODIs since the start of 2021? 58%!

England’s reply got off to the worst possible start as Tammy Beaumont was bowled off an accidental full toss from Jess Kerr. It was a legal delivery as the laws stand, there’s no doubt about that, but it does feel like maybe it shouldn’t be – at least, not a delivery you can get out from. Maybe it should be a dead ball under those circumstances, though I admit I haven’t really thought that one through. (Feel free to have your say below, if you have an opinion – I’d be interested to hear your views.)

Heather Knight never really got the motor started, but Maia Bouchier was going along nicely and Nat Sciver-Brunt had just hit consecutive 4s off Jess Kerr, to take England to 54-2 at the end of the 11th over, when it started to go south for England. With the T20 side having procured a titanic collapse in the 3rd T20, their ODI sisters gave it the full “Hold My Beer” losing 4-25. Defeat looked certain; but we’ve seen miracles at Easter before – there was a famous one about 2,000 years ago – and we can now add another to that list.