My 2nd-favourite journalist Jonn Elledge¹ once wrote an article for the late-lamented City Metric website explaining why it is actually mathematically inevitable that if you wait ages for a bus then two will turn up at once² – a phenomena known as “bus bunching”… apparently!

So, what does “bus bunching” tell us about Amy Jones, who after scoring her first hundred in 12 years of international cricket at Derby in the 1st ODI, went on to immediately score her second just 5 days later in the 2nd ODI here at Leicester? Absolutely nothing, that’s what!

However, if you’ve made it this far into the report without tuning-out it does mean that you’ve probably learnt something today; which is more than England or the West Indies did from a rather dull and distinctly chilly encounter at Grace Road.

England won the toss and elected to bat. Again. Amy Jones scored a century. Again. Tammy Beaumont scored a century. Again. West Indies batted long. Again. But still lost by three-or-four country miles. Again.

England looked more relaxed today, like they’d realised the game they were playing was more Candy Crush than Dark Souls, and they set off at a decent rate of knots – scoring 77 in the powerplay, compared with just 45 in the 1st ODI.

But they didn’t quite capitalise on that start, and the journalists in the press box who had already begun looking up what sort of a record 400 might be were ultimately disappointed. (For what it’s worth (not much!) it would have been England’s highest, but nothing like the highest overall – New Zealand’s 491 v Ireland in 2018 – weirdly not the game Amelia Kerr scored her double-century in, which was also on that tour, but where New Zealand “only” made 440.)

Emma Lamb made a half-century, which was encouraging, but only in the sense that me baking a basket of current buns last weekend was encouraging – it’s good that I did it, but I’m still probably not winning Bake Off this year.

366 is still a huge score obviously – a typical 1st innings score in ODIs between the Championship sides recently is around 256 – so England might have some justification in saying I’m being a tad negative about what they’ll feel was an impressive display of batting power, pulled-off without getting sucked into the reckless black hole of Jon-Ball. But it does say something when a team hits a 350+ total, but you know that the moment that will stick in your memory is not anything England did, but Realeanna Grimmond’s astonishing leaping catch to dismiss Emma Lamb.

Twenty-year-old Grimmond, playing in her debut ODI, then went on to top-score for West Indies with 53 off 72 balls. It wasn’t anything like enough to give them a chance of winning the game; but it shows there is some potential there, which the West Indies need to build a side that can improve enough over the next World Cup cycle to redress their failure to qualify for India 2025.

Similarly with the Windies’ other twenty-year-old opener, Zaida James, who played the shot of the day off Lauren Bell, whipping an admittedly poor delivery through the covers for 4. Cricket is a game where you can either play a shot like that, or you can’t. And if James can do it once, she can do it again.

It’s almost like… you wait ages for one young West Indian cricketer to emerge, and then two come along at once.

It’s called “bus bunching”… apparently!

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1. Since you’re asking, my favourite journalist is Stephen Bush. [Ed: Wot? Not Me?]
2. You can still read the text here, but the visualisations appear to be sadly lost in the bits and bytes of time.

You know that scene in a hundred movies, where someone surveying some carnage or other asks “Who could have done this?” And the reply comes “There’s only one man who could have done this…!”

Hold that thought!

It’s the 14th over at Durham’s Riverside Ground, and leg-spinner Katie Levick is bowling to England’s Sophie Ecclestone, who is always a threat with the bat, even if she doesn’t come off very often. Suzie Bates, who is marshalling the field, has Ecclestone (7 off 12 balls) locked down by a packed off side. Trying to break the shackles, Ecclestone slog-sweeps against the spin, getting a bit of a top edge but with acres of space on the leg side it looks quite safe from the fielder on the midwicket boundary.

The fielder though is having none of it – she sets off like a sprinter out of the blocks, running fully 25 yards before diving at full stretch plucking the ball out of the air inches from the ground. Who could have done this? I knew immediately. There’s only one woman In The World who could have done this: Mady Villiers!

It wasn’t really a particularly pivotal incident in the game – in fact it arguably damaged Durham, because (for all her potential to cause havoc) Ecclestone wasn’t looking in great nick, and she was replaced by Ailsa Lister, who was – of which, more anon. But it was one of those moments that reminds you why you travel 300 miles (via Derby and Manchester) to watch a game of cricket on a sunny-but-deceptively-chilly afternoon in Chester-le-Street.

The actual key turning-point in the match was Suzie Bates – given out stumped by Ellie Threlkeld on 49, just when it was starting to look like Durham were going to cruise it. Looking at the replay frame by frame, it’s very tight – Bates’ foot is definitely up two frames before the bails are broken; and definitely down the first frame after. As for the critical frame in-between…? On balance, I think she’s home; but the umpire obviously didn’t, and Bates had to go. From that point, Durham seemed to deflate. Bess Heath, who had made a promising start to get to 13 off 13, gave herself up – caught by Tara Norris off a rushed pull – as the hosts subsided to 122 all out, and an 18 run defeat.

Earlier in the afternoon, Lancashire had been made to work hard for their 140. An 11-run opening over, with a brace of 4s struck by Tilly Kesteven, very much did not set the tone. It was followed by a miserly 2-run opening over from Grace Thompson, who has the second highest dot ball percentage in the One Day Cup this season. Thompson’s first wicket-taking intervention however was as the catcher – pouching Kesteven in the 3rd over for 11; before coming back on to take 2 wickets in 3 balls, leaving Lancashire 3-for-not-very-much after 3 overs.

Lancashire retrenched and rebuilt, but it was slow going, and they looked to be heading for a well under-par 100-120, until the aforementioned dismissal of Ecclestone brought Scotland’s Ailsa Lister to the middle. Lister has been struggling this season, but she came good today – smashing 42 off 23 balls, including a six off the final ball of the innings. It wasn’t just the runs that Lister hit herself either – Ellie Threlkeld, who had been going at under a run-a-ball, significantly upped her strike rate too, in a Big Hitting Death Phase that took Lancashire to 140. With a little help from the square leg umpire, it proved plenty.

This week:

• Has Heather Knight played her last game for England?
• Tammy Beaumont’s 100 & Linsey Smith’s 5fer – which was better?
• Amy Jones gets a gorilla-sized monkey off her back
• Women’s Blast Off & our first visit to Old Trafford
• Davina Perrin smashing it for Bears

The date: 12 November 2018.

The place: Gros Islet, St Lucia, West Indies.

The occasion: England’s de-facto opening game of the 2018 World Cup v Bangladesh, after their actual opening match v Sri Lanka had been washed-out without a ball being bowled.

Among three women to make their debut that day was 23-year-old Linsey Smith. Smith didn’t have a bad game, but she was definitely outshone by fellow debutante Kirstie Gordon, who took Player of the Match for her 3-16. (Oh and if you’re wondering, the other new cap was Sophia Dunkley – whatever became of her?)

In the seven years since, Smith has notched-up 19 more England appearances, but all in the T20 format… until today when, having bowled (and fielded) her socks off in the T20s, she was rewarded with her first ODI cap aged 30.

Smith is not England’s oldest ODI debutante – not by a long shot. Kay Green (who was born before the WCA was founded and played her only Test in 1954) was 45 when she played her maiden ODI the year the format began in 1973. But I’m pretty certain Smith is the oldest (for England) this century – making her a virtual grandma in modern cricketing terms.

That Smith then went on to take a 5fer on debut – only the 2nd England player to do so, and again the first this century (Laura Harper did it against the Netherlands in 1999) – made it all the more special an occasion for a player who has worked unbelievably hard in the last few years to become not just the player, but the professional athlete, she now is.

Smith is not a complete mug with the bat; but at this level she is perhaps a “Genuine Number 10”, which is where she was carded in the T20s. In fact, she has batted just once for England – making 1 off 6 balls against Australia in the Ashes back in January. She didn’t get the opportunity to improve on that at Derby today, as England powered to 345-6, with centuries for Tammy Beaumont and Amy Jones.

This was Beaumont’s 12th ODI hundred for England, as she continues to pull clear of the former record holder Charlotte Edwards and Nat Sciver-Brunt, who both have 9 – a number NSB may well add to, but Lottie is unlikely to! And for me, this was the better of the two hundreds scored today.

Beaumont set herself up, scoring steadily up to around the 25-over mark – making her first 50 at a Strike Rate of 68; before exploding at around the 25 over mark and scoring her second 50 at a Strike Rate of 227. It was very-much like the hundred she scored in Ireland last September, where she played the role of the anchor and the finisher.

And talking of finishers… that’s the role Amy Jones has mainly played for England these past 5 years. Having opened the batting regularly under Mark Robinson in 2018/2019, she was dropped down the order specifically to play the “finisher” role under Lisa Keightley, and continued in that job during Jon Lewis’s tenure.

But Charlotte Edwards seems to have decided that was a mistake, and the numbers even before today perhaps bear this out. Despite being probably a better player now, her numbers batting at 5/6/7 have never matched her numbers opening back in 2018/19. Restored to that opening role – one she has been dancing domestically for the Blaze this season too – she played positively but not recklessly today to reach 100 for the first time in her long England career. It wasn’t perfect – she was dropped a couple of times in the Nervous Nineties – but it was a marker that at 32-next-month she isn’t finished yet.

Chasing 345, West Indies never really had a prayer – no one has ever chased anything like that before. But they started positively and on 67-0 after 10 overs our WinHer Win Predictor had them ahead. But once they lost Hayley Matthews, beaten by a decent ball from Em Arlott that left the batter just enough off the pitch, a win never felt remotely on the cards.

But England’s perennial problem recently has been taking wickets, so there remained the question of whether the West Indies could bat through and frustrate England. That was a question Smith ultimately answered. Initially, with two left-handers at the crease after Matthews’ dismissal, England went with their off-spinners and kept Smith in the bag until the 23rd over. But when she did get hold of the ball, her impact was immediate – Zaida James getting herself in a muddle and being struck LBW. Two overs later, she darted one beautifully through the defences of Shemaine Campbelle; before bowling Mandy Mangru as well with a top-spinner.

Smith’s final two wickets were less spectacular, but were of sentimental significance – both caught in the deep by Sophia Dunkley. Yes – that’s what became of her – over 100 England appearances of her own since, and it was Dunkley that had handed Smith her cap in the England huddle before the match too.

It will be fascinating to see what Charlotte Edwards does when Sophie Ecclestone (presumably) returns for the India series later this summer. Teams seem reluctant to play two left-arm spinners; and even if England should choose to do so, that would presumably mean dropping Charlie Dean, who was vice captain during the T20 series and is firmly part of Edwards’ much-vaunted “leadership group” – her answer to the question of captaincy succession-planning.

Smith had already thrown a cat amongst the pigeons with her performances in the T20s, but a small cat – a lynx, perhaps?

Now though, it’s a tiger.

On a very green deck at Chelmsford, England beat the West Indies by 17 runs to win the series 3-0. Heather Knight whittled her way to a positive half-century; Lauren Bell took 2-11; but for the second time in three matches, the player of the match was the losing captain – Hayley Matthews taking 3 wickets and hitting 71 off 54 balls.

Having been put into bat England got off to the worst of starts. In an action-replay of proceedings at Hove, Danni Wyatt-Hodge was bowled for a duck by Zaida James off the first ball of England’s innings; but unlike at Hove or Canterbury, England failed to make the powerplay count, also losing Dunkley to a sharp catch behind, reaching just just 24-2 off those first 6 overs, compared to 51-1 at Canterbury and 49-1 at Hove.

Nat Sciver-Brunt needed to have a word with the steel band who were in the house to entertain the punters at Chelmsford – unlike them, she couldn’t quite find her rhythm. She lasted 40 balls for 37, but then with Heather Knight having slog-swept Hayley Matthews into the stands a couple of balls earlier, she tried the same thing but whacked it a little less square than Knight had done, finding the fielder at deep midwicket.

This put a bit of pressure on Amy Jones, coming to the crease for the first time in this series with England perhaps a little bit behind the pace; but she got quickly into the action with consecutive boundaries off Afy Fletcher and continued to match Heather Knight run-for-run as they put on a hustley-bussley 42.

Knight played with freedom and looks more relaxed than she has done in years for England (I wonder why that might be?) but the same can’t be said of her hamstring, which started to give her trouble around the 16th over. Stretching it between balls, she battled on, but by the final over she was hobbling between the sticks. But it didn’t stop her finishing on another not out score of 66, to add to the undefeated 43 she made at Canterbury. I still wouldn’t have picked her for this series, for the same reasons Mark Robinson opted not to keep Charlotte Edwards around when Knight succeeded to the captaincy all those years ago; but it’s difficult to argue that Knight doesn’t merit her spot on form.

It meant that despite their unpromising start, England reached 144 – a little over par for T20 internationals between the Championship sides, having gone at in excess of 8 an over through the later phases.

With England having lost their opener off the first ball of their innings, West Indies then proceeded to do the same – Lauren Bell serving up one of those unplayable magic balls that only she can bowl to Qiana Joseph, who just looked confused as she began a slow, slow walk back to the pavilion shaking her head in bemusement. There might be better bowlers in the world than Bell right now; but Bell’s best ball remains better than anyone’s.

I’d have given Bell another over, but Linsey Smith replaced her and caused fellow leftie Zaida James all sorts of problems; though it was Em Arlott who picked up James’s wicket with a rank delivery in the final over of the powerplay – a nonetheless crucial intervention which put England just ahead on DLS with the weather starting to look grim, even though the Windies powerplay score was 10 runs ahead of where England had been.

By the end of the 8th over, the threat of rain had turned into actual wet stuff descending from the sky; but another tight over from Smith kept England on top with West Indies 4 runs behind par. There were several points where a single boundary followed by an uptick in the rain could have won West Indies the game. England managed to drop Realeanna Grimmond three times in three consecutive balls – a tough swirling chance put down by Nat Sciver-Brunt; an easy caught and bowled shelled by Charlie Dean; and then a difficult reaction-catch behind the stumps, though one we’d generally expect the best keeper in the world to take.

Finally, Grimmond offered-up a fourth chance which was pouched by Danni Wyatt-Hodge in the deep. That wicket added substantially to England’s DLS comfort zone, which was now 11 runs; and for a moment everything began to look brighter, including the weather.

You can never count Hayley Matthews out, and she did drag her side back again to within a single hit of getting on top on DLS. But when the rain returned too heavily to ignore England were still 9 ahead, as the players left the field and 2/3 of the spectators headed home assuming that would be that.

It was not, quite. The players returned; but Shabika Gajnabi forgot to bring her brain out to the middle, and was bowled by Linsey Smith attempting the most ridiculously telegraphed switch hit. With the game having reached the point where losing wickets matters a lot less to DLS, it wasn’t inevitably the end of things; but two further wickets fell quickly, including the big one – Matthews caught at long on by Em Arlott staying calm under a steepling ball.

The 31 off 12 balls that the West Indies needed by the time we got to the finale was enough that Arlott – hampered by a damp ball – could get away with bowling by far the worst over of her short international career so far, though it still resulted in a wicket thanks to a great catch from the captain at mid off; leaving Charlie Dean to bowl out the last as England won by 17 runs – a margin that felt about right on the day.

Matthews was Player of the Series, having scored 177 runs – more than all the other West Indies batters put together – a staggering achievement amid the carnage all around her. Given the fragility of the rest of their lineup, it now feels like it would be a minor miracle if they bat-out 50 overs in the upcoming ODI series which begins in Derby on Friday.

On the CRICKETher Weekly:

• Arlott & Dunkley shine as England win
• West Indies woes & why the ICC needs to intervene
• Loans in county cricket: do we need tighter regulation?

I don’t know if Hayley Matthews is a fan of the popular beat combo ‘Linkin Park’ but if she was, she would have recognised the song which blasted through the PA at Hove shortly after the start of England’s innings: The Emptiness Machine. But fan or not, Matthews could probably empathise with the lyrics of singer Emily Armstrong:

Don’t know why I’m hoping – so f***ing naive
Falling for the promise of the emptiness machine

If Matthews and her team actually had any hopes after posting just 81, it took England less than 10 overs to splatter them, as Nat Sciver-Brunt kicked into gear with 55 off 30 balls; whilst the hero of Canterbury – Sophia Dunkley – was able to just chill out at the other end, with a cool all-but run-a-ball 24. Honestly, Dunkley could have popped down to Marrocco’s famous ice-cream parlour on the sea-front for a cornet during her innings and England would still have strolled to victory – West Indies are just that bad right now.

An England win was probably inevitable the moment Hayley Matthews was bowled by Em Arlott in the newbie’s second over. Arlott had been walloped for 4 by Matthews the ball before; but she stuck to her guns, put the ball on a decent length targeting the stumps, and got the reward. It was a very Em Arlott wicket – it wasn’t a Lauren Bell-esque Magic Delivery – but it was about keeping that consistency and that rhythm, and executing the plan.

Four balls later, Sophia Dunkley literally plucked Arlott’s second wicket out of thin air. The ball struck by Zaida James wasn’t going at a million miles an hour, but it was heading for the boundary and apparently well wide of Dunkley at mid on; but Dunkley (whose fielding is sometimes more memorable for the drops than the catches) leapt high to her left and somehow held on with her “wrong” hand.

Alott’s final wicket was less memorable – Stafanie Taylor pushing another good length delivery straight to Charlie Dean – but they all count in the scorebook, and Arlott finished with 3-14 and a Player of the Match “medal” (it is actually a dachshund plushy, courtesy of sponsors Vitality).

Having finished the powerplay 4 down, West Indies responded by shutting up shop. Shemaine Campbelle (26) and Shabika Gajnabi  (22) got through the early middle overs unscathed, but at a run-rate which wasn’t going to set any pulses racing. Issy Wong finally got her hands on the ball again, and delivered a couple of overs which were… fine – no great shakes, but nothing that really troubled Campbelle or Gajnabi too much, until Gajnabi repeated her dismissal from the first match, following a slower ball down the leg side and giving England some more catching practice.

Another collapse followed, with just one over in the last 8 going for more than 3 runs, as the West Indies focussed on getting through the 20 overs intact; but a total of just 81 obviously wasn’t going to be enough unless England had a real nightmare.

The first ball of England’s reply did hint at that – Danni Wyatt-Hodge bagging a platinum duck (maybe someone should sponsor a plushy for that too?) to continue her slightly unconvincing start to the season. But NSB came out determined to stamp her mark on the match; and although she was dropped right at the end of her innings, it was the kind of authoritative performance that definitely qualifies as “leading from the front”. There are a few worries around her captaincy, but the really Big Worry™ is that the burden of the role will result in a drop-off in form. This was the opposite. And that’s good news for Nat Sciver-Brunt; good news for Charlotte Edwards; and good news for England – their machine, at least, is anything but empty.

In the lead-up to this game, all the talk was of a new era under Charlotte Edwards: England (Lottie’s Version)!

But of course the thing with Taylor Swift’s “Taylor’s Version” albums is that they aren’t new “eras” at all – they are note-for-note facsimiles (mostly*) of her previous recordings. Which brings us back to England (Lottie’s Version), in which it turns out, not a lot has really changed.

England’s XI contained 8 of their preferred T20 lineup from the Ashes, including an identical top 6. There were three changes to the bowling, but two of those were mandated by injuries to Sophie Ecclestone and Freya Kemp.

Linsey Smith coming in for Ecclestone was a no-brainer – Smith has been in fantastic form in the One Day Cup, bowling the tough overs, taking 14 wickets and going for under 4 an over. She replicated that form for England today – whilst Hayley Matthews was taking the rest of England’s attack to pieces, Smith conceded just 18 runs in 4 overs. England’s next-best was Em Arlott, who went for 28.

Arlott will probably be written-up as the “Big Call” in selection, making her debut aged 27 off the back of some strong performances for Warwickshire and a general reputation for dependability, which probably gave her the edge over Phoebe Turner who has been the other pacer doing numbers in county cricket. (Scoring a hundred against Essex probably didn’t harm her cause either, and she was carded to bat at 7 above Charlie Dean; but she really isn’t an allrounder even at domestic level, so expectations need to be tempered in that department.)

The actual “Big Call” however was Issy Wong, who looked pretty unthreatening on England’s “A” tour to Australia back in April, and whose returns for Warwickshire back home have been woeful – just 6 wickets at an Economy Rate of over 5.3. It is fair to say that she isn’t bowling as many bad balls as she used to, but the real problem is that she isn’t bowling very many good ones either. The slower ball that got her one wicket today was a genuine change of pace, but it was otherwise a pretty rank delivery well down the leg side, and a smarter cricketer than Shabika Gajnabi would have just left it alone and taken the wide, rather than pumping it to Nat Sciver-Brunt on the ring. Overall, it is fair to say that Lauren Filer doesn’t have too much to worry about when she comes back from injury.

England’s other Lauren – Bell – found a bit of swing early-on, and deserved two wickets she didn’t get, while getting two wickets she didn’t deserve – Qiana Joseph and Zaida James giving themselves away with shocking shots. But she also struggled for consistency and gifted Matthews her century in the final over with some poor deliveries, not to mention a brainless bouncer which was going to be called a wide 8 days a week – the extra run didn’t matter of course, but that’s still no excuse.

Matthews of course was immense – 100 runs off 67 balls at a Strike Rate of 149, whilst the rest of her team scored 40 off 53 at a Strike Rate of 75. Her performance today was the third time she has hit an international white-ball century in a losing cause, bringing her level at the top of that list alongside England’s new captain – Nat Sciver-Brunt.

NSB’s first game as England’s “official” captain obviously ended with a win; but after being much-touted as a skipper who would “lead from the front” she didn’t bowl (she’s still coming back from injury) and served-up a two-ball duck. There was also one slightly worrying moment in the field, where she switched-off after the batters ran through for a single, before suddenly remembering she was supposed to move in from the ring where she’d been fielding at midwicket (Heather Knight continuing to field in the traditional captain’s position at mid off) and shaking her head in an “aren’t I a ditz” sort of a way as she moved to short midwicket.

But England came out on top in the end, thanks to the bats of Sophia Dunkley and Heather Knight; after Danni Wyatt-Hodge had hacked her way to a scratchy 17, before being bowled in about the most ignominious way as possible – padding an awful wide delivery into her own stumps. Dunkley took a lot of risks, and seemed to score most of her runs hacking across the line outside off stump; but it got the job done and she finished not out on 81 – her highest international T20 score.

Meanwhile Knight, as she did in the Ashes, just played smartly, manipulating the field for boundaries and running hard between the wickets to make every ball count. I wouldn’t have kept her in the team; but you can see why Lottie did.

A win is a win is a win, as they say. It’s not the worst start for the new regime; even if it was against a West Indies side that look worse and worse every time we see them. I’m not convinced it was a performance that would have beaten Australia though; and ultimately that’s what matters if this is really going to be a new era rather than a remake of the previous one.

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* Yes – I’m still cross about Better Than Revenge!